We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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