i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
