I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
