My pussy is not your playground.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize