that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Damn victory sex feels great
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