Christians are straight up FREAKS
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
