Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize