i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
