remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
