If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
