Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When are your genitals available?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
