New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
