I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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