For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
did i just pee glitter
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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