We won't sleep together?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
