my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dick very happy bro
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