That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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