shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
