I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How external is "for external use only"?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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