Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize