pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
