Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
