she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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