Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He? As in you personified your dick?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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