There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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