Sry I called you an 8
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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