I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My dick has a subreddit
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
