soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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