I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize