the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
