i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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