Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
