I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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