Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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