thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
