what day is it and did you see me today?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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