bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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