i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
