evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
