I'm laying in your front yard are you home
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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