I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
