drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
