Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
