he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
