yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize