Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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