They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
