Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
