so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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