We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
