I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize