Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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