can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize