he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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