If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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