Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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