dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
