apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
