I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
