you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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