no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
