I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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